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Confidence. The “I can do” quality where inner calm + belief of being capable, dances with expansive ideas and a take action waltz! This quality can be both seen and felt energetically. In business and in life, it is a quality that attracts others to us. If you are an entrepreneur, it is a quality that can comfort a client’s nervous system and give them the feeling they are in capable hands. Clients that believe they are in capable hands are more willing to open their pocketbooks to the services they desire.

I was fascinated reading, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance—What Women Should Know by authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. A few pointers this book made were:

  • Women, more than men, often won’t apply for a job unless they think they are totally competent in the area they are applying for. The trend this books sees is that women will often choose less competitive fields of work such as human resources or marketing, over finance or investment banking. Men on the other hand lean into greater confidence when applying for a job by thinking, “Who wouldn’t want me?”
  • Men will externally attribute while women internally attribute. For example, if a man and woman are taking a rigorous course, a man might say, “Wow, this course kicked my butt,” while a woman would say something such as, “I’m not smart enough or good enough to be taking a course like this.”

Initiating and asking for what one wants is more associated with men than women. Women have a tendency to wait to be noticed, invited or would prefer someone provide the opportunity rather than directly asking for the opportunity. Men initiate salary negotiations 4X as often as women do and when women do negotiate they ask for 30% less money than men do.

Less confidence often leads to in-action while greater confidence leads to taking action on one’s behalf. Taking action is what opens us to greater flow in our lives, money being one form of that flow.

So How Does One Go About Creating Greater Inner Confidence?

Be aware of the energy you are carrying around. Fear and Excitement live on the same continuum. When approaching a new situation, view it as an adventure or a fun puzzle to solve rather than approaching the situation with fear and overwhelm, as if the situation was bigger than the internal abilities you bring to the situation.

On a physiological level, take great care of your body by eating healthy and getting the exercise you need. These basics help give our body, mind and spirit the energy needed to feel positive about ourselves as well as influence the hormones circulating in our bodies.

Let Go of the mindset that you aren’t enough. Focus on your strengths and what you bring to the table of business and life. If there are areas in your life where you need to close learning gaps to make you feel more confident, then take steps to close them.

Become emotionally resilient and surround yourself with people who build you up.

Each day focus on what you accomplished, not what is left to do. When I started to do this one, I felt a big shift in my physiology!

Be willing to step into discomfort in order to stretch yourself. Practice this daily in the way of baby steps. Begin asking for little things and then on to bigger things. See what happens. Put legs on your ideas!

Imagine a time and situation where you were very confident. Pull this memory up to support you in times you feel less confident.

Say “YES” to a new situation and then figure out how you will approach and step into the opportunity.

Bring out your inner toddler. Have you ever noticed how 2 year olds say, “I do it?” or some mutation of those words. And if you try to “do it for them,” there is usually some resistance involved. So bring out your inner “I do it!”

Can the quality of confidence increase your earning ceiling? You bet! Inner confidence can open doors of opportunity for you, that you can then step through, take action and show up for yourself in bigger ways than you are currently doing! And, opportunity opens you to greater flow, money being one form of that flow!

Here’s to believing in yourself + opening yourself to greater flow!


  1. Curtis, thank YOU for your meticulous research in the HP study. Based on your feedback, I did change my post. It is interesting how a couple of books I’ve read based on studies quote this HP study. Best to you + thanks again!

  2. Great blog. Thank you. As I read the title I felt my body aligning with the expansion that comes with self-assurance.

    There’s a different approach to building confidence for me, because of experiencing what I ‘do’ be rearranged by unpredictable health issues, ‘do’s’ aren’t a good source of building trust in myself and abilities. But, how I do is. It might be a question of HOW I ‘did’ (responded to) the day. Was I kind to myself? Did I manage to do-no-harm when I was crabby with pain or exhaustion? Or, if not, did I take responsibility for my crabbiness and clean up after myself? Did I make my choices with integrity? When I chose to watch a movie instead of meditating or getting something done, did I do it with an assessment of what served me best or did I just go unconscious? When it was the kindest thing to do, did I allow myself escapes without retribution?

    I like these questions. I hope that when I have regained some stability in my life I will use them still.

    In our culture that is ‘do’ oriented, it can be challenging to stay connected with self-assurance when not accomplishing much. I think we need additional ways of nurturing positive views of ourselves!


    1. Elizabeth,

      Hello + big hugs to you! I thank you for sharing these very important “being” questions to ask ourselves, so that we may re-align with inner confidence on HOW we treat ourselves. Thank you always for your evolved + holistic perspective about life. I so appreciate you! XXXX

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