Denise's Blog
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WOMEN and MONEY: FOUR SECRETS to GREAT SEX and a BIGGER BANK ACCOUNT!
Women and Money and Sex! What possibly can money and sex have in common? For starters, they are both “hot” topics, quite personal, can be mind-altering, more is usually better on both accounts, and either can bring couples closer together or tear them apart.
Do you realize, the same criteria we women bring to our sex life can be applied to our money life as well? You’ve probably heard of that saying, “how you do anything is how you do everything.”
Sex and Money share common rules of engagement, and when followed, can take you to new heights with your partner! Here are a few juicy, sexy, savvy, modern ways, women and money can prosper!
Don’t Share A Bed With Someone You Wouldn’t Share A Checking Account With
When it comes to sex or money, don’t you want to know about your partner’s sexual or financial health before you decide to get naked with one another and go all the way?
Going all the way can be hazardous to your health IF your partner hasn’t been totally transparent with you.
What if your partner has Hep C, HIV, HPV, or a sexually transmitted disease. Wouldn’t you want to know this ahead of time in order to take the necessary precautions to protect yourself? Of course you would.
What if your partner has gone through serial bankruptcies, has a credit score below 500, doesn’t pay bills on time, has a gambling problem, or doesn’t have good financial hygiene? Wouldn’t you want to know this before you say, “I do?”
Transparency creates intimacy and trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, especially when it comes to sex and money. Don’t you deserve to be with a partner who has your best interest at hand, some one who looks out for you, and shows you through words and actions their level of caring?
Choose A Partner Who Cares About Satisfying Your Needs
Good sex doesn’t happen if one partner only thinks about themselves. It can leave their partner feeling frustrated and emotionally taken advantage of.
The same is true for a partner who is not concerned with co-building assets. Honestly, why get married if you aren’t interested in creating a shared vision, mutual goals and building a foundation of wealth for your family?
There are many scenarios where couples don’t operate on a united financial front, for various reasons. This can cause lots of problems. I’ve heard many stories from women about how shocked and devastated they were when their husbands died. They thought everything was “taken care of financially,” only to find a mound of debt, lapsed life insurance policies and no money in the bank.
I have to say here that since most women outlive their male partners, it is their responsibility to know the status of all aspects of personal finances.
Sometimes, if a partner is sexually with-holding, they may also be financially with holding. It is important to be with a partner that cares about and is able to help you meet your needs and visa versa.
Doing Both Once A Week (Sex And Minding Your Money) Has Significant Benefit To Your Health, Longevity, And Happiness
Having regular sex releases a hormone called oxytocin. This is a super hormone. Release of oxytocin improves sleep, gives one that warm feeling of generosity, connection, and sex improves cardiovascular health as well. It keeps blood pumping to all areas.
Having regular and meaningful financial conversations decreases the amount of cortisol (stress hormones) running in the body and promotes relaxation and peace.
Money talks matter. They strengthen your ability to work as a team and to find solutions to your money conflicts.
Changing Positions With Your Partner Creates A New View
With sex, it’s important to be willing to change positions with your partner and try new things. Not only does variety spice up your sex life, it keeps your brain open and elastic in ways to have more fun.
As we age, our bodies go through lots of muscle and joint changes that require us to do things in a different way.
Often, savers and spenders marry. Many people marry a partner with opposite traits. It can be a fun exercise to switch roles or positions with one’s partner. For example, have the “saver” in the relationship take on the “spending role” for a weekend. Have the “spender take on the saving role” for a weekend. See what new learning comes from this. It can be eye-opening.
Ohh!! I love this post. It’s very fun and all so true, Denise. And it’s amazing that people will be intimate with someone- sex- and not know anything about their finanical habits. Not good for a long term relationship! I love the last one too– the role reversal. Olivia Mellan wrote about this in her book Money Harmoney.
Great advice and wonderful thoughts!
Fabulous post, Denise! I loved the many commonalities/connections between sex and money, which I’d never thought of. I found particularly interesting the comment, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” Reminds me of the great book The Energy of Money, in which author Maria Nemeth shares that how we do “money” is often indicative of how we are in relationship to the other five forms of energy: time, physical vitality, creativity, support, and enjoyment. So true! Thanks again for some great insights and food for thought.
Wonderful stuff, Denise! Everyone is interested in reading about sex- and sex and money, the way you explain it, makes soooo much sense- we can all learn lots! Thank you!
Years ago, a man I was dating got hot and heavy. I joked that I was through sleeping with men unless they shared their most intimate secrets. He quickly agreed and offered that I could ask him anything in the world. There would be no secrets between us. I asked for his PIN. He paled. Shook his head. That evening ended with a kiss at the door. A few weeks later he called me and whispered over the phone the four little digits I was longing to hear.