Denise's Blog
Money Insights, Wisdom, and More
LOVING YOUR MONEY SHAME MONSTER
We all have a money shame monster living inside of us. This is the monster that comes out to play when we get triggered about some aspect of our money lives that we prefer stay buried.
While the feeling of money shame is universal, the triggers for each of us are unique. Common triggers are:
Thoughts that compare ourselves in the here and now – to “where we should be in our money lives (and of course comparing ourselves to others)!” These thoughts usually make us feel small.
Thoughts about all the mistakes we made with money + where we would be now if we made different choices.
Feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence + control with money…believing we “should know” things about money that weren’t taught to us.
Secrets we hold in dark cobwebbed corners (debt, bankruptcy, financial infidelity, under-earning, compulsive spending, being on food stamps, embezzlement are examples) believing if we told anyone about them, we wouldn’t be loved or approved of.
The Money Shame Monster’s job is to fiercely protect us from stepping into financial truth + transparency, for our monster fears it will be too painful to own what is. What this monster doesn’t know is the “truth will liberate us + help us to be more powerful in our lives.”
WAYS TO LOVE YOUR MONEY SHAME MONSTER (to death)
1. GET OUT YOUR FLASHLIGHT
Shine light into the dark corners of your money life. If it is uncomfortable for you to share what’s in those dark corners right now with others, be willing to tell yourself the truth + own your past. Rewrite your money story, it’s your pen + paper + story after all! This way, you begin to create a shift where you step into owning your past + it no longer owning you. And, your Money Shame Monster is light sensitive!
2. INFUSE INTRAVENOUS BAGS OF LOVE + COMPASSION INTO THE CELLS OF YOUR BEING
Feelings of shame activate stress hormones of cortisol + adrenaline. Feelings of Love + Compassion toward ourselves, activate hormones of oxytocin + dopamine. Love + compassion are anesthesia to the Money Shame Monster and gently allows our monster to sleep.
3. LIVE MORE MOMENTS IN A STATE OF GRATITUDE
When we appreciate + feel thanks in our hearts for the beauty, abundance and blessings that already exist in our lives, we are living in a space of light. We cannot live in this space at the same time we are living in darkness + negativity. Living more moments in the light of gratitude, will create a shift in your spirit over time. You might feel “lighter” and “more buoyant!”
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR PAST MONEY MISTAKES
Bring the energy of forgiveness to your money life. Forgive yourself for all the things you did that brought you pain, regrets, shame + feelings of being less than. Sometimes, we judge ourselves harder than anyone else can judge us. Let go of judgement, “should-a, would-a, could-a’s” and love yourself for who you are and who you are becoming. I have a statue of Quan-Yin in my office to help me remember to have compassion with myself. I think the best lessons + learning come from things in our lives that didn’t go so well.
I find the best way to un-shame ourselves is to love ourselves fully…for who we were + what we did…for who we are now…and for who we are becoming!